I’ve been a bit neglectful of the blog as of late, largely because I’m preparing for my very first day as a college professor. Yes, you read correctly. The state of affairs in American higher education is finally so desperate that even I have been entrusted with the power to shape our most impressionable young minds. When I picture my first day in the classroom, I imagine it being a lot like that Simpsons episode in which Homer teaches a class at the Springfield Education Annex. (I searched all over for a short clip of him running red lights and shouting “Can’t talk now, I have a CLASS to teach!” Alas, I could only find this longer clip that takes a while to get to the good part.)
I don’t have the time or the patience to actually write multiple paragraphs about any one topic at the moment. So, I thought I’d just provide a completely random assortment of updates and talking points.
What I’m Reading
I’m currently reading Stumbling Upon Happiness by Daniel Gilbert. One of the early chapters includes a fascinating look at frontal lobotomies. Apparently they used to be a popular way of treating people with anxiety disorders because the frontal lobe is the portion of the brain that allows us to think about the future. I was surprised to find that many people who lose the use of their frontal lobes can actually still function quite well in society. (I always thought they just became drooling zombies who needed constant care…although I guess that would mean the only reason someone would get a lobotomy would be to make them less of a hassle for the psych ward workers who have to take care of them.) In any event, the book had me hooked for several riveting pages, but the tone of the writing took a very bombastic, scholarly turn by Chapter 2 and I’m already searching for a new read.
What I’m Watching
I’m currently in love with Damages on FX. This show has taught me that being a lawyer isn’t about helping people and finding justice…it’s about killing witnesses’ dogs to keep them from snitching (the witnesses, not the dogs) and using the legal system to bend people to your will. At the end of every episode I wonder, “Did I miss my calling?”
What I’m Buying
It’s probably a bit un-PC to say that I’ve finally decided to “buy” a maid, but I couldn’t think of a more fitting verb to use in the title for this section. (”What I’m Employing” sounded even more clunky and equally dehumanizing.) If you don’t already have a maid, you simply MUST get one, dahling. And if you can, find a delightfully thorough Eastern European gal with a strong back and a keen eye. Mine could scrub graffiti off a Soviet tank with a bit of spit and a Taco Bell napkin.
a maid?? next thing you know, you’ll be dry clean only!
Well, of course I agonize over the expense every time I have to leave that fistful of twenties on the nightstand for her. But, then I come home and the place looks great and I feel so happy that I don’t have to clean it. I tell myself, “What was the point in going to grad school if I can’t use my white-collar income to pay other people to clean my toilet?” I’m sure this is how every frugal twenty-something begins the downward spiral to living beyond his or her means, but for now, it just feels right.