One of the first guys I ever fooled around with was the textbook definition of white trash. He would have made an excellent Eliza Doolittle in a gay remake of My Fair Lady—if Eliza lived in a trailer, smoked a lot of pot, wore a gold-chain necklace, and had to borrow her sister’s car to get to the unemployment office. I won’t bore you with the details of the rollercoaster ride that was our six-day love affair. Let’s just say it ended with me stirring my sheets around in an iron cauldron with a giant wooden paddle. The whole experience led me to spend a lot of time praying that God would send me a man with a job. Sadly, the employed guys I met in the months that followed made me realize my prayers should have been more specific.

We all have certain dating dealbreakers. They’re designed to save us time and frustration, and they’re usually the result of years of careful observation. Judging potential partners based on occupation is nothing new, but some job titles are a bigger turn off then others, which leads me to the following question:

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