If you’re a gold-digging, attractive straight woman, the Web is overflowing with sites to help you find the repugnant, wealthy man of your dreams. Sites like SugarDaddie.com, SeekingMillionaire.com, and MillionaireMate.com promise to help a lady unlock her inner Anna Nicole and settle down with her very own liverspotted, balding, yellow-toothed ATM. But what’s a gay man to do when his dreams are haunted by visions of a joint checking account with Beverly Leslie?
Until recently, queers looking for a free ride have had to find a mate the old-fashioned way—hanging out at art gallery openings and applying for jobs as congressional pages. (Zing!) Then, along came the Gay Millionaire’s Club. I think the GMC was more focused on connecting rich gays with other rich gays, but I’m sure some of their clients were happily paired with broke boys who were eager to escape the high-pressure life of an Abercrombie cashier. For better or worse, the GMC is now run by a company called VXO Partners. But not to worry. While VXO’s name might sound less superficial than its predecessor’s, the company’s website makes it quite clear that gay men with a paltry 900 grand in the bank need not apply.
If you’re not quite ready for the big leagues, but you’re looking for a gay dating service that will keep you from suffering through another blind date with a 35-year old who’s still waiting tables at Bennigan’s, you might want to check out Executive Gay Dating. For the bargain price of $997 for a six-month membership, you can be connected with rich gays who probably look an awful lot like the mediocre men featured in the stock photos on their website. (The two 80s businessmen enjoying an espresso are particularly alluring if you have a few minutes to wait for their photo to appear in the rotation.) Of course, that kind of money can also buy lots of drinks for hot strangers and a 5-gallon drum of roofies. That’s more of a short-term investment, I suppose. However, if you’ve given up on a love that transcends socio-economic class, you need to keep your options open.
This article is cross-posted at boystowners.com.